My stepkid had a hard time in school. He was kicked out of first grade when he stabbed a kid with a pencil out of anger. Three days later he was mine and it became my mission to help him. He had a lot of issues with anger and I think he was abused by his mom but, I think I abused him, too - at least I wish I could have ignored his behavior and loved him more.
I knew he was a smart kid and I often thought his IQ was higher than the "average" which explains why he was bored in school. Our school system is set up to teach at an "average" level - which really means that if you are one of the kids right in the middle of the bell curve then you are getting taught how you need to be taught and everyone else is on their own. The other thing school teaches us is how to conform. On a personal level the teacher cares about each individual kid but in a practical sense, she can't, she has to keep 40 kids on task and "under control". What the kids really learn is to conform. Forget what your gifts and dreams are. Become plain vanilla so the class as a whole can continue. If you conform your teacher loves you and your parents don't have to go to parent teacher conferences and you're not grounded.
Take this the next step into adulthood. It doesn't matter what your gifts are, what you really excel at, or what makes you happy. We get married, we get into debt with the wedding, then we work really hard to pay that off before the kids come. Then we work even harder to send the kids to the right preschool and homework and chauffering kids around and white lies, and soccer practice and more kids and college and suddenly the house is empty and you're 50.
Do you ever wonder who that 5 year old, full of energy and promise, was? Can you remember? Did she dream of SUVs and juggling faster and faster to keep the job she hates?
I try to be good so people will love me but who was that person that everyone loved?
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