No More Distractions

It's interesting the way god works. Last year I said that all of my ego was being stripped away as I sold off everything and told the truth about my finances. Now I feel like I am taking that to a different level.

I went from being the "California Girl" in her big red Mercedes, beautiful clothes, wild running trails, lots of friends and a great house full of beautiful things to this. I live in a one bedroom apartment where I am constantly clearing out the non-essentials so I don't trip over my dog. I drive a 1993 Volvo wagon with $108K miles on it and the fanbelt squeals when I turn on the A/C. I live in the gayborhood - where the boys are not interested in me and my closest friends are the friendly faces at the bank.

I have a handyman that thinks I am beautiful and a friend that looks to me for spiritual awakening.

I've heard many women talk about losing their looks and becoming invisible. I feel like I lost my pretty stuff, pretty income, pretty friends and now I am becoming invisible. Who am I? What do I like? Why am I here?

I know that I needed to lose it all to find myself. Is there anything beneath it all?

I had to lose my income to not use that to lure men.
I had to lose my car to not use that to boost my ego.
I had to lose my house to realize that all the pretty things were not me.
I had to be away from my friends and activities to allow the scared little girl, hiding in the shadows, to emerge.